"Wow. So that's what it feels like to get punched in the face."

THE SCENE: My office cubicle, specifically, a space about 7 ft away by the printer.
THE CAST: JOSETTA, our QA manager; ANGELA, accounts payable; and TWEEK*, in his cube, off stage and silent.
THE SETUP: JOSETTA has just received final product samples of a new Dove Hairspray, a product we make the bottles for. Apparently, when the words “Dove” and “Hairspray” are used in context to each other, the product can only be applicable to a female demographic. JOSETTA is proceeding to hand out the samples to all the women of the office and, having run out of women, begins pondering handing it out to the men. She discusses such prospects with ANGELA, in a tone not quite hushed enough so as to have TWEEK not hear.

Josetta: “Does Chris have a girlfriend?”
Angela: “Yes, he does. She’s on his mousepad.”
Josetta: “Oh, right. I’ll give him a bottle for her. Who else….what about…uhmm…whathisname…”
Angela: “Tweek?”
Josetta: “Yeah , Tweek. What about him?”
Angela: “No. I’m pretty sure no. There’s his mom, though…”
Josetta: “Oh, he lives with mom? Ok, I’ll give him one for her…”


SCENE.

*some names have been changed to protect the pathetic.
And by “some”, we mean one.
And by “pathetic”, we mean Tweek.